What would President George Patton Do?
General George Patton died under suspicious circumstances on December 9, 1945. He was Danger: an outspoken man, a smart man, a leader, painfully blunt and honest. In other words, he was likely to be assassinated before getting to run for President anyway. Patton was a Christian, a warrior, an Olympic athlete, and a poet. He was fascinated in his poetry with the idea of reincarnation. He became a great military leader through such rigorous study of those who came before him that he felt as if he were there. I can remember that line from the “Patton” movie where Patton says as he surprises the “Desert Fox” Rommel: “You Magnificent Bastard! I read your book!”
Suppose Patton isn’t just my warrior hero. Suppose “I am Danger” is the reincarnation of Patton and somehow avoids the drone strikes and is elected President? What would President George Patton Do? Let’s channel Patton’s spirit and save the world.
- No Undeclared Wars- War is hell. Pretending it isn’t prolongs suffering. It cannot be regulated or limited. Limited war is like: limited pregnancy, limited death, and limited starvation. A war must always be in the vital interest of the United States. If we went to war in Bosnia, Syria or another exciting adventure to prevent genocide, it shouldn’t be as liberators but as conquerors. This is the missing piece of the puzzle on the silly “nation building” debates. Nations build themselves or become parts of other nations. Nation building would only occur if it was our territory, we would stay and occupy at least to recoup our losses, but actually to profit. We wouldn’t even consider invading Iraq, for example, unless we were planning a long term occupying army, seizing the oil assets to recoup our losses, and establishing law and order. We seem to have forgotten it’s the loser who pays for the war; to the victor go the spoils. We lose our blood & billions in a war yet we have to agree to what amounts to surrender terms? Not happening under Patton.
- GITMO Closed- Gitmo would be closed in operation “GITMOR” The terrorists’ associates would be contacted and the prisoners would be released in the mountains of Afghanistan at designated locations & times, where our special forces would be standing by to dispatch them and any other killers that decided to welcome them home. This would all be on the battlefield and not subject to any court, to take out the human trash and– “git more” GITMOR
- No Weapons of Mass Destruction- Death looks horrible on cable TV. So what? It is not worse than passing in your sleep, you are just as dead. Patton would immediately withdraw the United States from the Geneva Convention and not recognize the concept of WMD’s. It is the “gun control” of foreign policy, limiting the USA but not our enemies. Patton said:
“War is not a contest with gloves. It is resorted to only when laws, which are rules, have failed.”
More life was lost in the most conventional of wars, US Civil War than by all nuclear explosions or chemical attacks, combined. Nuking Iran would be on the table. There is no justice in war. War is what happens when civilized solutions break down. The Nazi Generals should not have been tried for war crimes. They should have been shot. The concept of war crimes is an insult to servicemen everywhere. The farce is an engrained one, and continues with GITMO trials. In an attempt to civilize war, we have faux justified it. That isn’t the worst of it. A military concept developed out of the just war idea is called Rules of Engagement (ROE.) It would define who you could shoot in a war, legally. This ultimately led to terrorist states. A state could now accomplish its national interests with small investment in troops who would skirt the legal definition of a combatant. 9-11 was state sponsored terrorism. It is well documented that both the Taliban and Saddam were taken by surprise that we would actually go to war. The “just war” propaganda emboldened them.
- Terrorism- Patton understands the warrior psychology behind terrorism unlike any other leader, and would capitalize on it. The reason terrorists attract a following in the Islamic world is because terrorists are viewed as heroes, as “Mujahedeen,” the Holy Warriors with Allah on their side. He would challenge their leader to single combat battle to settle various tracks of territory via champions, televised, ideally in the Roman Coliseum with his love of history but perhaps on GITMO. He would highlight their cowardice, that strapping on a bomb to kill innocents is not only cowardly, it is doubly cowardly when you have been given an honorable battlefield on which to fight. Terrorism is an information war and we are still being schooled. Many don’t know or understand the information war aspect of D- Day and Patton’s critical role in it—played to perfection.
- Amnesty- When a country sends an invasion force into your country, even if they aren’t in uniform, even when they are friendly, you fight back. Patton would invade Mexico and make it a US Territory
- Gun Control-The Patton answer to the gun control debate would be to stop issuing firearms and vests to police officers. This has been the model for the European police. They could get a permit and carry a gun if desired, and expense it. This turns the debate on its head. There are neighborhoods in Chicago where police fear to tread with guns. This would lead to a more physically fit & intimidating police force, as they would have to be physically equipped for the job. It would inspire law abiding people who don’t like guns to value owning one. Patton carried a firearm and famously used it when necessary.
Of course there would be the fun side of it, where the man would use his daring and personality to confront cultural issues such as political correctness. He would have to visit the Senate floor to slap McCain on camera in front of the world. He would tell him to get over himself, lots of young men had made the ultimate sacrifice and he had lived to senility, he should go hit golf balls. He would ask for Boehner’s immediate resignation for the public crying alone, if you can’t lead yourself you can’t lead anybody else. He could throw out the first pitch for baseball season without embarrassing the whole country. He would not be afraid to raise the possibility of charges against Trayvon Martin’s parents for negligent homicide of their son for creating the circumstances where he was shot. He would make abortion non-existent, by demanding that any abortion require an internet televised ultrasound of the barbaric procedure. He not only would not stand down, but would have sent so much “help” to Libya, the one year anniversary of Benghazi would have been marked by the grand opening of the permanent US Military reservation of Benghazi, the largest US military base in the world including a resort and spa, safer than Chicago or Detroit. Osama Bin Laden’s rotting remains would still be dangling from the world’s largest gallows, constructed on the site of the World Trade Center. Perhaps he would improve Russian relations by doing an exhibition boxing match with Putin to raise money for charity—supposing Putin didn’t duck him. It would be such a contrast—a man in the oval office.